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Text File | 1992-12-28 | 163KB | 2,041 lines

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |. _O_/~ EEEEEEE. EEEEEEE..EEEEEEE..EEEEEEE. KK..KKK. .~\_@_ . ._O_ ~\_O_. . | | / }} . EE.----'.EE.----' EE.----' EE.----'.KK| KK.'. . }}> /( )\ .( )\ .| |~ \\ EEEEE.. EEEEE. . EEEEE.. .EEEEE.. KKKKKK . . \\ .~ / \ ~ \\.~ | | . //. EE.--' . EE.--'. EE.--'. EE.--' .KK.--KK|. // . \ \. // . | |. ~~ . EEEEEEE. EEEEEEE..EEEEEEE. EEEEEEE. KK| .KK| . ~~ . ~ .~ . ~~. .| | . . .`------' `------' `------'.`------' `-'. `-' . . . . . . . . | |. _O_/~\_O_/~. _O_/~\_O_/~ _@_ . _O_ ~\_O_. . _O_/~\_O_/~ _@_ . _O_ ~\_O_ | | / }} [ ] / }} . ( ). < }}> /( )\. ( )\ . / }}. ( ) .< }}> /( )\ ( )\| |~ .\\ . // ~. \\ .// . ^\\. ~ / \ ~ \\ ~ ~. \\ . // .^\\ ~ / \ ~. \\.| |. // \\ . //. \\ . // . \ \ . // . . //. \\ . // .\. \. // | | . ~~ . ~~ . .~~ . ~~ . ~~. ~ ~ . ~~ .~~ .~~ . ~~. ~ ~ . ~~ | |.-----------------------..BBBBBBB .IIIIII..TTTTTTTT. SSSSSS.. !!.. (tm) . | || ISSUE #112, 12-28-92 | `BB.--BB. `-II.-' `--TT.--'.SS.----' .!!| . _@_ | || (c) 1992 |. BBBBBB |. II|. . TT| . SSSSS .. !!| /{{ \. | || Eeeek Publishing Co. | .BB.--BB| .II| . TT| .`----SS| .`-'.~.//. ~ | || ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! | BBBBBBB.'.IIIIII. . TT| . SSSSSS |. ::.. \\ . | |`-----------------------'.`------'. `-----' . `-'. . `------' .`-' .~~ . | |. _O_/~\_O_~\_@_. . _O_.~\_O_ . .--------------------.. ._O_/~._O_/~\_O_/~ .| | / }}. ( )|. }}>. /( )\. ( )\ .| HAPPY NEW YEAR '93 | /( ) ./ }} .[ ] . | |~ .\\ .//.^ \\ ~ / \ ~ .\\ ~ | From: Your SysOps | ~ //. ~ .\\ . //. .| |. // . \\ . // . \ \. // . | & Eeeek Publishing | . \\ . //. .\\ . | | . ~~. ~~. . ~~ . ~ ~ . ~~. .`--------------------'. .~~ . .~~ . ~~ . .| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | This publication is protected by all U.S. & International Copyright Laws! | | NO Part may be changed or reproduced w/o express written permission from | | The Publishers! Eeeeks is FREE, BUT YOU MUST REGISTER to have it on a BBS! | | You may NOT upload it to any BBS on a regular basis without the express | | written permission of the Publishers. Eeeek BITS! is NOT PD or Shareware | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | In order to Register: Call Beyond Eternity at the # above & fill out | | "O" at the main menu, OR EAST COAST CALLERS MAY CALL OUR EAST-COAST | | DISTRIBUTOR, U.S. Datanet at (617)-868-2965. OR you may write us via | | US Mail, include your: BBS NAME, PHONE, APPX # OF USERS, # OF LINES, | | MAX BAUD, STORAGE CAPACITY, SYSOP REAL NAME, PHONE, ADDRESS, SOFTWARE | | RUNNING, WHERE YOU SAW & WHERE YOU'LL RETRIEVE EEEEK BITS! You May | | also register for Datanet Computer News (ALSO FREE) in these ways. | | ######################### ===============================================| | ## ------------------- ## Beyond Eternity BBS, Contact The Editor #5 | | ## (c)1992 ## (310)-371-3734 12/24/9600 or 370-9464 3/12/2400| | ## Eeeek Publishing Co ## ===============================================| | ## ------------------- ## Eeeek Publishing Co | | ## (Taghadossi/Black) ## PO Box 331 Manhattan Bch,CA 90266 | | ## ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ## ===============================================| | ## ------------------- ## "Keep On Eeeeking!" (Philip Fultz) | | ######################### ===============================================| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Little Known Facts...........Page 4 Phrase Craze.................Page 30 | | 1992 Eeeek Awards............Page 5 Mind Games...................Page 31 | | HeadLine BITS................Page 11 Accustomed 2 Customs.........Page 34 | | Horoscopes By Manfred........Page 12 One Liners...................Page 35 | | Behind The HeadLines.........Page 17 Hide & Seek (Continued)......Page 40 | | Historical BITS!.............Page 18 Team Eeeek (Conclusion)......Page 54 | | Metaphysical BITS! (Astrol!).Page 23 Learning DOS.................Page 67 | | Just A Minute!...............Page 24 Strrrrrrrange BITS!..........Page 72 | | Quotes 'N' Notes 1992........Page 25 The W-Eeeek-Ly News..........Page 74 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | HAPPY NEW YEAR'S 1993 To You & Yours from all of us at Eeeek Publishing Co!| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| │ WW WW EEEEE SSSS TTTTTT SSSS II DDDDD EEEEE .==========. | | WW WW EE SS TT SS II DD DD EE | (213)- | | | WW W WW EEEE SSSS TT SSSS II DD DD EEEE | 933-4050 | | | WW WWW WW EE SS TT SS II DD DD EE `==========' | | WWWW WWWW EEEEE SSSS TT SSSS II DDDDD EEEEE BBS (sm) | | | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | Large Shareware Library, Online Games, Outdial, Eeeek BITS! & Datanet News,| | CB, Adult, Private Chat, Internet & NetNews, 100+ Incoming Lines & MORE !! | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Little Known Facts! Page 4 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | * 28 minutes each day is spent by the average adult dressing. | | * There are more inches in a square mile than there are seconds in a | | century. | | * The average age of all U.S. military personnel is 25 | | * Rocky Marciano is the only boxer to retire without having lost a pro | | fight. | | * A snail can actually kill a garter snake. | | * A duck can quack but his quack never echoes | | * Costs for university education in Canada is half that in the U.S. | | * The word nova is latin for new | | * In the native tongues of the West Indies there is no word for weather | | * A person who is a genius is generally much shorter or much taller than | | the average person. | | * 44 percent of babies born are born to teenage girls | | * In Monopoly it is said that Illinois Avenue is the square most often | | occupied. | | * The typical human's skin weighs twice that of their brain | | * A moment as defined by old English is a minute and a half | | * A household dog generally likes one person better than another in the | | family. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | 1992 Eeeek Awards!| Page 5 | | ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | ▀██████▀ | THE 1992 EEEEK AWARDS! | | ▄▀██████▀▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | █ ██████ █ | 1992 was QUITE the year! Among the things we saw: | | ▀██████▀ | Ross Perot made American history, Madonna made a "SEX" | | ▀██▀ | book, & Woody Allen made his step-daughter. The USSR | | ▄██▄ | gave up Communism, The Los Angeles Riots were no big | | ▀▀▀▀▀▀ | laughing matter, & Jeffery Dahmer went to trial. | |-------------------' The American public turned out in droves in Nov. to | | cast their ballots, Congress was finally noted for bad checks, JFK The | | The Movie, A Japanese official said Americans are lazy & stupid, the | | Michelangelo Virus struck unsuspecting computers, Johnny Carson resigned | | as host of The Tonight Show, & we found out white men CAN jump! | | Passages: Fred Gernand of Baudtown and Anthony Perkins passed away, as well| | as Lyle Alzado, who died from brain cancer brought on by steroid usage. | | Magic Johnson announced he was HIV +, Dan Quayle attacked Murphy Brown, | | and "Family Values" became a catch-phrase for the year. Sister Soulja made | | racist remarks, saying Blacks & Hispanics "can't" be racists & Iced Tea's | | song Cop Killer reminded us of how much hate is really out there! And | | Hurricanes Andrew & Iniki devasted the lands, reminding us that Mother | | Nature always wins. Read On for our picks & pokes. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | 1992 Eeeek Awards!| Page 6 | | ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | ▀██████▀ | "Look at me! Look at me!" Award: MADONNA | | ▄▀██████▀▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | █ ██████ █ | Every year that goes by, it doesn't seem like she | | ▀██████▀ | will be able to outdo herself... yet she never seems | | ▀██▀ | to quit. This year her big seller was the book "SEX" | | ▄██▄ | - banned in several countries. Madonna, in her so | | ▀▀▀▀▀▀ | infinite wisdom seem to take this as a compliment, | |-------------------' but we have to ask: Do you really want attention that | | badly? And don't you have anything other than primal animal instinct to | | offer? Heck, we KNOW you have breasts, but do you have anything else??? | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | "Is It Live, Or Is It Publicity?" Award: WOODY ALLEN | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | I'm sorry, but we HAVE to ask! Considering the great scandal that hit not | | only the rag sheets but legit publications as well, seemed to coincide | | with the release of "Husbands & Wives" - We just are having trouble with | | this. Whether Woody overstepped his parental bounds with a step child, | | or whether he really is a child molester, we may never know. What we DO | | know is that some ad-man out there undoubtedly got paid big bucks for the | | secret leak that started this publicity. Some things are just TOO close... | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | 1992 Eeeek Awards!| Page 7 | | ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | ▀██████▀ | The "See Ya In '94!" Award: DAN QUAYLE | | ▄▀██████▀▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | █ ██████ █ | For all his blundering statements, we are really | | ▀██████▀ | gonna miss the little guy! Let's face it - there | | ▀██▀ | wasn't a heck of a lot to laugh at this year, and | | ▄██▄ | Danny sure relieved some tension! In spite of his | | ▀▀▀▀▀▀ | moronic attack on Murphy Brown, he was a guy it was | |-------------------' hard to dislike - laugh at yes, but dislike never! | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | The "Aw Gee Mom! Can't he stay a little longer?" Award: JOHNNY CARSON | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | Whether you liked Johnny or not, whether you like Jay Leno or not... | | Johnny Carson WAS The Tonight Show. He was an American Institution in | | his own right, and tears were brought to so many of us when he retired. | | I think we sort of thought of him as immortal, and when HE retired, we all | | realized how old we were getting, and that everything must eventually end. | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | The "Quitters Never Win..." Award: ROSS PEROT | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | He had it all & lost it all. What more can we say? | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | 1992 Eeeek Awards!| Page 8 | | ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | ▀██████▀ | The "Hypocritic Oath" Award: SISTER SOULJA | | ▄▀██████▀▄ | ------------------------------------------------------ | | █ ██████ █ | She was either immature enough or ignorant enough to | | ▀██████▀ | make the statement that blacks and hispanics "CAN'T" | | ▀██▀ | be racists, because only people in power can be. | | ▄██▄ | Considering the power that little girl was weilding | | ▀▀▀▀▀▀ | with the media, we would have to say it was a case of | |-------------------' the Pop (star) calling the kettle white. (AHEM) | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | The "Can We Owe It To You...?" Award: THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | With all the bad checks writen by Congress, I think we should be able to do| | the same with our tax payments since that's what pays the ridiculous salary| | of our Congressmen & Senators. | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | The "Play It Again Sam" Award: WHOOPIE GOLDBERG & SISTER ACT PEOPLE | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | If I walked past a church today & heard that kind of music emanating, I | | would go in! As Whoopie's character said: "People LIKE bars & casinos, | | because they're FUN!" Sister Act was the most fun in movies in 1992! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |-------------------------------------------------!!!------------I was here--| |- #### ### .## ### ## # ----------------------!!!!!-----------------1991---| |- # #=# `#. # # # # # ------------------!!-!!---!!!---!------------------| |- ### # # ##' ### # ## ----------------!!!-------.-!!.--------------------| |---------------------------------------!!!-!!!------!!!!--------------------| |-------.================================.----!!!---!------------------------| |-------| ****************************** |------!!!-----------G--------------| |-------| | | |~~ | | | Did YOU |---------------------r---S---------| |-------| |-| |- `+' | know... |----------------------a---U--------| |-------| | | |__ | . If YOUR AD |-----------------------v---X-------| |-------| were in Eeeeks, it would be |------------------------i---!------| |-------| available to an estimated |-------------@@ I @@-----t---------| |-------| 1,000,000 + readers weekly?! |------------@@@@.@@@@-----y--------| |-----Fo| See Following Page for rates |-------------@@@@@@@---------------| |---good| and information... |---------------@@@-Andy!-----------| |----Tim| **************************** |----------------@------------------| |-------`================================'-----------------------------------| |--------####-----------------------------------%%---------------------------| |------######---------------------------------%%%%%%-------------------------| |----#######-----------------Gina---------------%%---------------------------| |--─######------------------Loves---------------%%--Think God!---------------| |----###----------------------Billy-------------%%----------------(c)1990-KRT| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Advertise on more than 275 BBSes worldwide at a rate you can afford! | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | BUSINESS CARD ADS: $25.00 a month $250.00 a year | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | | HALF PAGE AD: $100.00 1 Mo. 4-5 Iss. $250.00 3 Mo. 13 Iss. | | $500.00 6 Mo. 26 Iss. $1000.00 1 YR. 52 Iss. | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | | FULL PAGE AD: $250.00 1 Mo. 4-5 Iss. $650.00 3 Mo. 13 Iss. | | $1200.00 6 Mo. 26 Iss. $2000.00 1 YR. 52 Iss. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | To charge your ad to MASTERCARD or VISA Add the following info: | | | | CHARGE TO: MC or VISA CARD # EXPIRATION DATE NAME ON CARD | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | You may also order via E-Mail this way. Conatct The Editor 5 on Beyond | | Eternity BBS: 310-371-3734 (12-9600) or 310-370-9464 (3-2400) N 8 1 | | | | To Place An Ad WITHOUT a credit card, Send a CHECK or MONEY ORDER | | (DON'T SEND CASH!) with what you want your ad to say or look like to: | | (Enclose Biz Card if E-Biz Card Ad...) | | Eeeek Publishing Company | | P.O.Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | HeadLine BITS! Page 11 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | * Honesty Tests For Workers Can't Be Trusted, Report Says | | * Arsonist Elected Fire Department Chief | | * Man Who Killed Roommate Is Looking For Place To Live | | * Blaze Destroys 97 Vehicles At Cookout Held By Firemen | | * Smoking Allowed In The City Sewers | | * Woman Sues Lost Brain | | * Unemployment Not Working, Critics Say | | * Absentee Votes Accepted In Person Only | | * Collapse May Delay Freeway Demolition | | * Study: People Can Delay Death For Important Occasions | | * High-Speed Train Could Reach Valley Within Five Years | | * Rains Delay Big Umbrella Show | | * Ada Kring, 67 Year Old Orick Resident, Dies At Age 94 | | * Waste Team Dominates Chili Fest | | * Hazardous Waste Breakfast June 6 | | * SPCA Holds Flea Sale | | * Moses To Speak At Senior Center | | * Psychopaths Unpredictable | | * Don't Use Poison Ivy To Decorate | | * Water Houseplants When Soil Is Dry | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Horoscopes By Manfred! 12-29 thru 1-4-92 Page 12 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | ARIES [Mar 21 - Apr 19]: This evening would be best spent by meditating | | or reflecting on inner views. There will be reason for you to celebrate! | | Pay special attention to someone you want closer, before the opportunity | | passes. Gemini, Libra native plays role. | | | | TAURUS [Apr 20 - May 20]: The time has not yet arrived for a previous | | investment to be abandoned. Wait, watch, listen. It is time for you to | | trust again, stop copping out on past people who have harmed you! Focus | | on physical attraction, sensuality, creativity, variety. Gemini has | | something important to say! | | | | GEMINI [May 21 - June 20]: Your money picture is now due to brighten & | | you will located needed finances & be able to proceed on! You will work | | closely with a friend on new project. You'll find that someone who really | | likes you has remained quiet long enough! Scorpio, Leo speaks up! | | | | CANCER [June 21 - July 22]: Pay attention!! Your health plays a key role, | | eat well, & rest. Lost love will be found. Capricorn, Sagittarius can be | | counted upon! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Horoscopes By Manfred! 12-29 thru 1-4-92 Page 13 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LEO [July 23 - Aug 22]: Your finances should be watched carefully! | | Attraction between you and another intensifies. This may be the big day | | for you! Take a chance on yourself. Leo is featured. | | | | VIRGO [Aug 23 - Sept 22]: You'll find that someone who really likes you | | has remained quiet long enough! Emphasis tonight is placed on rest, and | | relaxing. Pay attention!! Sagittarius is available today. | | | | LIBRA [Sept 23 - Oct 22]: Make plans for later in the week to spend time | | with a friend who needs it now. You must learn that if you want | | something, you must make some move! Expect the unexpected tonight. | | Cancer is in your corner now 100% | | | | SCORPIO [Oct 23 - Nov 21]: Emphasis this evening on perfecting your | | techniques, it will be important to work. A secret rendezvous could put a | | smile on your face for a very lonnnnng time. Gemini is featured. | | | | SAGITTARIUS [Nov 22 - Dec 21]: You will be the object of a sincere gift | | of love today!! Scenario highlights love and romance! The moon in your | | sign highlights special appearances. Pisces is available today. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Horoscopes By Manfred! 12-29 thru 1-4-92 Page 14 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | CAPRICORN [Dec 23 - Jan 19]: Your health plays a key role, eat well, & | | rest. A woman with brown eyes has difficulty but opens up with you. It is | | time for you to trust again, stop copping out on past people who have | | harmed you! Sagittarius will be involved. | | | | AQUARIUS [Jan 20 - Feb 18]: Looks like that purchase is now possible, go | | ahead, Enjoy! A financial adjustment is being considered that will | | substantially benefit you somehow... Someone you respect will attempt to | | give you some advice...Listen carefully for they know what's best. | | Aquarius provides insight. | | | | PISCES [Feb. 19 - Mar. 20]: Unexpected funds are heading your way! It's | | time to break some bad news to a loved one. Don't be led by others, Hold | | fast to your beliefs & truths! Pisces plays prominent role now! | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | READER NOTE: Remember to watch next week for the announcement of the | | POETRY CONTEST winners! Winners will also be notified by phone or mail. | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | Look for a New Look in '93. Participate! We want YOUR input! If you | | would like to write for Eeeeks, contact The Editor #5 on B.E.310-371-3734 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Beyond Eternity BBS (213)-371-3734 . . . * . . . | |. . . . . . . . . . . . . | | Have access to ALL Public Boards, DataBanks, On-Line Mags, & E-Mail FREE!!!| |.Subscribers get 50 PLUS NEW FILES PER MONTH as well as FILE REQUESTS! . | | [NOTE: Free Accounts do NOT have upload/download access!!] . * . . | | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | | . . * . . . . . . . . . | | . . . . . . . . * . . . * .| |. . . . . * . . | . . . . . | | . . . !!!!!!!!! . . ./@@@\. . # . . . | | . . !!!!!!!!! . . . @@@@@@@ ### .:::::::: . %| |. * . !!!!!!!!! . ######### @@@@@@@ . ##### :::::::: . %%| | . . | @@ !!!!!!!!! . ########### @@@@@@@ #######:::::::: . %%| |. ||| @@@@ !!!!!!!!! ########### @@@@@@@ #######::::@@@@@@@ %%%| | ###### ||||| @@@@@@!!!!!!!!! ########### @@@@@@%%%%%%%%##:::@@@@@@@@@%%%| |#######|||||||@@@@@@!!!!!!!!![][]#######!!!!!!!@@@@%%%%%%%%##:::@@@@@@@@@%%%| |#######|||||||@@@@@@!!!!!!!![][][######!!!!!!!!!@||||||||%%##:::@@@@@@@@@%%%| |#######|||||||@@@@@@!!!!!!![][][]######!!!!!!!!!@||||||||%%##:::@@@@@@@@@%%%| |#######|||||||@@@@@@!!!!!!![][][]######!!!!!!!!!@||||||||%%[][][][][][][]%%%| |#######|||%%%%%%%@@@!!!!!!![][][]######!!!!!!!!!@||||||||%%[][][][][][][]%%%| |#######||%%%%%%%%%@@!!!!!!![][][]######!!!!!!!!!@||||||||%%[][][][][][][]%%%| |#######||%%%%%%%%%@@!!!!!!![][][]######!!!!!!!!!@||||||||%%[][][][][][][]%%%| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | .======================================================================. | | | Have An Item for sale? A service? Looking for a roommate, a job, or | | | | employee? Advertize in Eeeek BITS! Get more Ad for your money, and | | | | help support the online magazine that services more than 300 BBSes | | | | FREE of charge! PLACE YOUR AD BEFORE JAN 1st 1993 & WE WILL GIVE YOU | | | | 1 WEEK FREE FOR EVERY WEEK YOU AGREE TO PLACE YOUR AD FOR! | | | `======================================================================' | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | .====. /----. .====. .==== .==== ANY Subscription To: BEYOND | | | | | === /' | | | | ETERNITY BBS: (310)-371-3734 | | | | | /' = | | |=== |=== | | | | | /' === | | | | Mail In With Your Subscription! | | | `====' ' `====' | | --- OFFER EXPIRES 01-01-93 --- | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | YOU MAY ALSO REGISTER/PICK UP E.B. @:(617)-868-2965... FREE OF CHARGE! | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | |UU= UU= SSSSS= DDDD= AAAAAA TTTTTT AAAAAA NN= NN| EEEEE TTTTTT | |UU| UU| SS| DD DD| AA AA| TT| AA| AA| NNN= NN| EE| =TT| | |UU| UU| SSSSS= DD DD| AAAAAA| TT| AAAAAA| NNNN NN| EEEE= TT| | |UU| UU| SS| DD DD| AA AA| TT| AA| AA| NN|NNNN| EE| TT| | |UUUUUU| .= SSSSS| .= DDDD| AA AA| TT| AA| AA| NN| =NN| EEEEE TT| | | ====== = ===== = ==== == == == == == == == ===== == | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Behind The HeadLines! Page 17 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | HeadLine: U.S. Created 6.8 Million Secrets in 1990 | | Story: The U.S. federal government believes it created 6.8 million secrets| | in 1990 according to an official report filed. However, the re- | | port notes that it can not be totally accurate due to government | | secrecy. | | | | HeadLine: Bored With Job, Resigns | | Story: A Supreme Court Justice resigned his position when it was reported | | he was so bored with his job he was reading a book during a robbery| | trial. | | | | HeadLine: No Suit And Tie, Jailed! | | Story: A man appeared in the Washington State Court of Appeals without a | | suit or tie being worn. When the judge ordered him to come back | | wearing a suit and tie the man refused. The judge found the man | | in contempt of court and sentenced him to 12 days in jail. When | | the case was appealed the court upheld the judges ruling. | | | | Do you have a funny story you want published in Eeeek BITS! Write us: | | Eeeek Publishing, P O Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Historical Bits! ON JANUARY FIRST: Page 18 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01-01-1735: Paul Revere Born | | 01-01-1752: Elizabeth Griscom (Betsy) Ross Born | | 01-01-1801: United Kingdom of Great Britain & Ireland established | | 01-01-1801: Giuseppe Piazzi discoved 1st asteroid, later named Ceres, Born | | 01-01-1804: Haiti gains its independence | | 01-01-1863: Emancipation Proclamation issued by Lincoln | | 01-01-1879: E.M. Forster, English novelist Born | | 01-01-1892: Brooklyn merges with NY to form present City of NY | | 01-01-1895: J Edgar Hoover, Mr FBI Born | | 01-01-1901: Commonwealth of Australia established | | 01-01-1902: First Rose Bowl game held in Pasadena, California | | 01-01-1909: John Glenn, astronaut, Born | | 01-01-1912: First running of SF's famed "Bay to Breakers" race (7.63 miles)| | 01-01-1919: J. D. Salinger, author of 'Catcher in the Rye'Born | | 01-01-1934: Alcatraz officially becomes a Federal Prison | | 01-01-1956: Sudan gains its independence | | 01-01-1958: European Economic Community (EEC) starts operation | | 01-01-1971: Cigarette advertisements banned on TV | | 01-01-1984: AT & T broken up into 8 companies | | 01-01-1986: Spain & Portugal become 11th & 12th members of Common Market | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | .------------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | Introducing the EEEEK ELECTRONIC LIBRARY E-Books (tm) ALL UNDER $10! | | | `------------------------------------------------------------------------' | | (c)1992 Eeeek Publishing Company - All Rights Reserved! | | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | | |[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]||[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[| | | |[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]||[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[| | | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | | |]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]||[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]| | | |]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]||[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]| | | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | | |[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ .-----. [[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]||[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[| | | |[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ | EPC | [[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]||[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[| | | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|_____|~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | | |]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]################|[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]| | | |]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]################|[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[||]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]| | | `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~##~~~~~~~~~~~~##`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' | | ## ## | | .------------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | The BEGINNING list of available books is on the following page. Order | | | | form and info is on the page after that! MORE BOOKS COMING EACH WEEK! | | | `------------------------------------------------------------------------' | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | The Eeeek Electronic Library: E-BOOKS AVAILABLE | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | A: The New House...........By J.L.Black ( FICTION, Mystery ) $8.00 | | B: Dimensions Of The Dark..By J.L.Black ( FICTION, Thriller ) $8.00 | | C: Beginning Guitar........By C.Kirkendoll ( Learn Guitar Easily ) $7.00 | | D: The 8 Year Itch.........By C.J.Anders ( Poetry Collection ) $6.50 | | E: The Best Of Manfred.....By Manfred X ( Metaphysical Notes ) $6.00 | | F: The BBS E-Registry #1 ( BBS Listings #1 ) $5.50 | | G: The 800 E-Registry #1 ( 800 Phone Numbers ) $4.50 | | H: The Washington E-Registry #1 ( DC BBSes & More ) $4.50 | | I: The Computer E-Registry #1 ( Computer Companies ) $4.50 | | J: The Vendor BBS E-Registry #1 ( Vendor's BBS #s ) $4.50 | | K: The Best Of Public Domain #1 ( PD Software List ) $4.50 | | L: The Fun Book #1 ( FICTION, Satire ) $4.00 | | M: Mind Games Collection #1 ( Puzzles/Games ) $4.00 | | N: Writing On The Wall #1 ( Great 1 Liners ) $4.00 | | O: The Joke's On You #1 ( Jokes/Riddles ) $4.00 | | P: Modems & BBSing For Beginners ( Basic Instruction ) $5.00 | | Q: Dos Tips & Tricks 1 ( How To Utilize DOS ) $5.00 | | R: Word Perfect Tips & Tricks 1 ( How To Utilize WP ) $5.00 | | S: dBASE Tips & Tricks 1 ( How To Write In DB ) $5.00 | | T: PC Shopping Tips ( How To Shop For PCs ) $5.00 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | The Eeeek Electronic Library: E-BOOKS AVAILABLE | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | U: Little Known Facts Galore ( A Large Collection ) $4.50 | | V: Strange Stories & True Tales ( Wierd But True News ) $4.50 | | W: Where Were YOU In 19... ( A Look Back ) $4.50 | | X: Best Of Quotes 'N' Notes ( Many Good Quotes ) $4.50 | | Y: Being PercentageWISE ( Statisics ) $4.50 | | Z: Movie Reviews ( What It Says... ) $4.50 | | 1: Los Angeles: What's Hot & What's Not! ( Places of Interest ) $4.00 | | 2: The Electronic Cookbook 1 ( Recipes Etc... ) $4.00 | | 3: PC Glossary ( Terms & Meanings ) $4.00 | | 4: The Celebrity Corner ( Who's Who & Where ) $4.00 | | 5: The Traveler's Companion ( Hotels, Airlines +! ) $7.00 | | 6: Bed & Breakfast In California ( What It Says... ) $4.00 | | 7: Words To Live By Or Eat ( Quotes & Thoughts ) $4.00 | | 8: Just The Fax, M'am! ( Fax Numbers ) $4.50 | | 9: The Single Handbook ( For Singles ) $5.50 | |10: Unique Gift Ideas... ( What It Says... ) $4.00 | |11: Eeeek! A Ghost! ( Ghost Stories ) $4.00 | |12: The Eeeek Calorie Guide ( What It Says... ) $4.50 | |13: The New Nuke'r By: C.J.Anders ( Satire ) $4.00 | |14: Eeeek-mas Carols ( Bizarre Xmas Carols ) $5.00 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | The Eeeek Electronic Library: ORDER FORM & INFO | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | YOUR FULL NAME:_________________________________________________________ | | STREET ADDRESS:_________________________________________________________ | | CITY/STATE/ZIP:_________________________________________________________ | | | | BOOKS REQUESTED: ____________________________ QTY:____ PRICE: $_______ | | ____________________________ ____ $_______ | | DISK SIZE: ____________________________ ____ $_______ | | (Circle One) ____________________________ ____ $_______ | | ____________________________ ____ $_______ | | 720K 1.44M ____________________________ ____ $_______ | | | | 360K 1.2M Add $1.00 Shipping/Handling Per Disk: $_______ | | TOTAL: $_______ | | Mail this form along with CHECK or M.O. to: | | Eeeek Publishing Company - P.O.Box # 331 - Manhattan Beach, CA 90266 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | TO ORDER BOOKS WITH VISA OR MASTERCARD ...Include: | | NAME as it appears on the card - TYPE OF CARD - CARD # & EXPIRATION DATE | | You may include this information along with your order via the post office | | OR E-MAIL your Order to THE EDITOR #5 on B.E.BBS (310)-371-3734 12-9600 N81| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Metaphysical BITS!: THE 12 ASTROLOGICAL HOUSES Page 23 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1ST: Yourself, Focus of things, challenger, aggressor, home team. | | 2ND: Money, possessions, resources, goods, rights, income, increase. | | 3RD: Siblings, conveyances, books, inquiry, utilities, communication, lost| | objects, exams, short trips. | | 4TH: Home, privacy, inheritance, hidden things, realty, foundations. | | 5TH: Pleasure, pride, expression, creativity, talent, children, sports, | | recreation, excess, spend. | | 6TH: Service, health, employees, food, salvage, crafts, conservation. | | 7TH: Others, cooperation, partners, marriage, sharing, counselor, lawyer, | | competition, outcome, fine arts. | | 8TH: Death, initiation, removing all excess, finance, business, wills, | | legacies, reduction, karmic debt, sex. | | 9TH: Religion, long journeys, law, reason, knowledge, morals, ethics, | | lectures, school, philosophy. | | 10TH: Honor, position, authority, dignity, career, job, judge, police, | | vocational skills, administrators. | | 11TH: Friends, acquaintances, ideals, causes, groups, congress, hopes, | | objectives, counsel, plans. | | 12TH: Sacrifice, Confinement, envy, hidden enemies, restriction, prison, | | failings, inhibitions, compasssion. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Just a Minute! Page 24 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | How does the average spend their time! That's what this column deals with.| | * The average adult American spends 19 minutes each day going to and from | | stores. | | * Average time spent traveling to and from work for most Americans is | | 26 minutes. | | * The average American sleeps 7.7 hours per night. | | * The average American spends approximately 16 minutes each week traveling | | to and from social activities. | | * The average American spends about 90 minutes per week at parties or bars.| | * Over a lifetime, an American who dines out spend 8 months of their life | | listening to a waiter or waitress list the daily specials. | | * In one's lifetime an American spends approximately 1 year looking for | | some item they have misplaced. | | * On average an American spends 1 year of his life opening mail. | | * When it comes to talking women still hold the record. The average woman | | will spend 5.1 hours per week talking whereas the men spend only 3.5 | | hours per week. | | * Typically the average woman will spend 55 minutes a day cooking whereas | | a man will spend only 15 minutes a day cooking. This also includes all | | microwave usage. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Quotes 'N' Notes Page 25 | | .-----------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | "My great fear in American politics is that we are going to have an || | | | accidental president one of these days..." || | | | -*- Ed Rollins - Perot's co-campaign manager || | | `-----------------------------------------------------------------------'| | | =======================================================================' | | .----------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | "Let us see George Bush Re-Elected this November, and then we'll || | | | talk about 1994..." || | | | - Dan Quayle, when asked whether he will seek the || | | | presidency in the next election. (1996) || | | `----------------------------------------------------------------------'| | | =======================================================================' | | .----------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | "No, YOU don't understand... THIS is the Transit Authority...!" || | | | - A NY Transit Authority Rep to an assistant of Robert De Niro, || | | | who when he was told De Niro could not take bus driving lessons || | | | for an upcoming role, responded with "You don't understand, || | | | this is Robert De Niro!" || | | `----------------------------------------------------------------------'| | | =======================================================================' | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | .-----------. We believe honesty is the best policy, always! | | | .-------. | .-----------------------------------------. | | | | Eeeek |o| | You don't HAVE to spend a fortune! | | | | | BYTES |o| |-----------------------------------------| | | | `-------' | | The Techs at Eeeek BYTES! can help you! | | | `--.-----.--' |-----------------------------------------| | | .-----..--'-----'--. | We're not a retailer, we're a service! | | | |*****|| # # # # # | | Because of that we can keep costs low! | | | .`-----''-----------'------. `-----------------------------------------' | | | @@@ | ----- | We are tired of watching people get ripped | | | |||||||||||| |~~~~~~~| & we can help you with most anything! | | `--------------------------' | | 1: SYSTEM PURCHASING. Help you find the equipment or software you need, | | & attempt to at the best price. You don't purchase from us, but through us.| | | | 2: SYSTEM SETUP/MAINTENANCE. 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CHAT-LINE BBS Other On-Line Magazines Are | | DISTRIBUTORS . !! 403-299-0180 Available on Beyond Eternity | | ONLY! . + !!! . . As Well: | | .~~~. !!! CALGARY'S BEST | | \|||/ !!!! Ages 18 & Up Datanet Computer News | | Complete @ !!!! .---. .----. # The Underground Informer | | Access To @@@. !!!! | |---| |## MONSOON Online Magazine | | New & Back @@@`-!!!! | |·.-' |## GameMaster's Journal | | Issues! @@@ !!!! | |## | |============================================================================| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Phrase Craze! Page 30 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | * To add insult to injury: This phrase means to add scorn to an injury | | someone has already sustained. Reportedly this phrase first appeared in | | Latin: iniuriae qui addideris contumeliam, which means "injury added to | | insult." In the first century A.D. in the fifth book of Roman fables the| | expression first appeared. | | * To stick to one's guns: to remain despite obstacles, persevere. Samuel | | Warren wrote this phrase for the first time in literature in 1839. The | | novel was Ten Thousand A Year. Its origin stems from the military. | | * Hocus-Pocus: to be deceived or flim-flammed. The phrase was first in | | print in 1656 when Thomas Ady used it in "A Candle In the Dark." Though | | the spelling was quite different then. It was hokos pokos, not hocus | | pocus. | | * Making one's hair stand on end: to cause fright or terrify. This could | | represent a physical reaction also, when one becomes frightened. The | | first written record of the phrase appears in John Palsgrave's book | | "Lesclarcissement de la Langue Francoyse" in 1530. | | * To make a mountain out of a molehill: Making a big thing out of some- | | thing that is relatively minor. The phrase was first used by a Greek | | writer, Lucian in 1258(? year uncertain). It came back to usage again in| | 1570 and has stayed with us since. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Mind Games! Page 31 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | .-------------------------------------. FRIENDS .-----------------. | | | W F R I E N D S E I T R A P H D U K | DRINKING |* * * * * * * * *| | | | J F J V O H B A L L O O N S O A N G | FAMILY |* .-----------. *| | | | W H I S T L E S T N Z T U E R N U T | COSTUMES |* | HAPPY NEW | *| | | | T I M E S S Q U A R E H L P N C T N | RITZ |* | YEAR 1993 | *| | | | G W V F I R E W O R K S V O S I Z R | HOPE |* `-----------' *| | | | Q Y S C O S T U M E S Y Z H B N B L | PROSPERITY |* *| | | | P L D G W D R I N K I N G D K G W O | FATHERTIME |* Somehow, *| | | | Q I G S Z U F S P R O S P E R I T Y | SINGING |* These Words *| | | | I M G O N U I O R E N G A P M A H C | BALL |* All Have *| | | | O A I E S O S I N G I N G R Q X X I | TIMESSQUARE |* Something *| | | | K F H J O W I M S R E M A E R T S Z | BALLOONS |* To Do *| | | | R X P D P A G T B K X F I P X E O N | DANCING |* With: *| | | | P P L Q R H I M U J H U T V V B B C | STREAMERS |* *| | | | G V E E S D S L Z L G K P T J A A R | FIREWORKS |* NEW YEARS! *| | | | E M I T R E H T A F O G W H D L Z I | WHISTLES |* *| | | | C X V M V S S U Y T Y S I G G L A T | HORNS |* Good Luck!! *| | | | Z I Q O O K I I A K B D E X G R M Z | CHAMPAGNE |* *| | | | S R U C G A V T O E U S N R G H C I | PARTIES |* * * * * * * * *| | | `-------------------------------------' RESOLUTIONS `-----------------' | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | TO DO's (Our Picks Of Places To Go & Things To Do!) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | English Acid (DANCE) 7699 Santa Monica Bl (213) 969-2503 | | Florentine Gardens (DANCE) 5951 Hollywood Bl (213) 464-0706 | | The Palace (DANCE) 1735 N. Vine (213) 467-4571 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Knott's Berry Farm Buena Park CA (714) 220-5200 | | Sea World San Diego CA (619) 226-3901 | | Universal Studios Hollywood CA (818) 508-9600 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Cabrillo Marine Museum 3720 Stephen While San Pedro (310) 548-7562 | | CA Museum of Science 700 State Dr. Exposition Pk (213) 744-7400 | | Hollywood Studio Museum 2100 N Highland Ave (213) 874-2276 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LOS ANGELES MASTER CHORALE - 135 N.Grand Av - L.A. CA 90012 (213)972-7283 | | 10-17: 8:00 pm - Reflection of Freedom 11-14: 8:00 pm - !Viva La Musica! | | 11-21: 6:00 pm - Viennese Romance Ball 12-11: 8:00 pm - Messiah Sing-Along| | 12-12: 1:30 pm - Sounds of the Season 12-13: 7:30 pm - Sounds of Season | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | The Comedy & Magic Club 1018 Hermosa Ave Hermosa Beach (213)372-1193 | | The Comedy Club 49 S. Pine Long Beach Ca (310)437-5326 | | The Comedy Store 8433 Sunset Blvd (213)656-6225 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | READER SURVEY 1992 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1: YOUR AGE GROUP IS? | | A: Under 25 4: HOW OFTEN DO YOU READ EEEEKS? | | C: 26 to 35 A: Every Single Issue! | | D: 36 to 45 B: 2-3 Times A Month | | E: 46 to 55 C: Once A Month or Less | | F: 55 + | | 5: YOUR GENDER? | | 2: YOUR JOB: A: Male B: Female | | A: White Collar/Mgmt | | B: Tech/Computer 6: HOW MANY BBSES DO YOU BELONG TO? | | C: Biz Owner/Self-Emp'd A: 1 B: 2-3 C: 4-5 D: 5+ | | D: Unemployed/In School | | F: Other:______________ 7: DO YOU READ OTHER EMAGAZINES? | | A: Yes B: Some C: No | | 3: YEARLY INCOME: | | A: Under $20,000 8: DO YOU CLASSIFY YOURSELF AS | | B: $20,000 - $39,000 COMPUTER LITERATE? | | C: $40,000 + A: Yes B: Somewhat C: No | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |Please Mail To: EEEEK Publishing Co. PO Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Accustomed 2 Customs! Page 34 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Here it is almost New Year's Eve and what would an issue of Eeeek BITS! be | | without discussing the custom of this celebration and the singing of the | | song "Auld Lang Syne." I'm sure we have discussed this before but for | | those of you who haven't seen the article on these two subjects, here we | | go again. New Year's Eve is celebrated with a bang and has been for a | | great many years. The custom comes to us from a primitive custom. Way | | back primitive people believed the best way to bring in a new year was to | | bang drums, scream, cry and dance. The reason, they believed this action | | would keep the demons from entering the next year. In this way they could | | prepare the year and insure it would be a good year and not one of any | | negative energies. | | The singing of Auld Lang Syne comes from a custom of singing this song at | | the conclusion of every party. People would join hands, stand in a circle | | and sing this song when a party was over. This custom began in the British| | Isles in the eighteenth century. The traditional song comes to us from | | the Scots and has now come to be song only on New Year's Eve, wishing the | | old year out and the new one in. The words, "auld lang syne" is of a | | Scottish dialect and means "old Long since." | | Hope you all have a wonderful New Year and please stay safe on New Year's | | Eve. Celebrate but don't drink and drive! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Great One-Liners! Page 35 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Every Titanic has its iceberg. | | An honest politician: One who stays bought. | | A closed mouth gathers no foot. | | What`s the most popular form of birth control? The headache. | | Clean mind, clean body: take your pick. | | Whatever advice you give, be brief. | | He who laughs last probably doesn`t understand the joke. | | Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. | | If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average. | | When in doubt, make it sound convincing. | | A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. | | When all else fails, read the directions. | | If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt. | | If reality wants to get in touch with me, it knows where I am. | | When forced to choose between two evils, try the new one. | | Every human being comes equipped with a brain at no extra cost. | | To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools. | | To save one life is better than to build a seven story pagoda. | | There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me. | | There's at least one fool in every married couple. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Great One-Liners! Page 36 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | There is always someone worse off than yourself. | | The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf. | | The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. | | The plural of spouse is spice. | | The only rose without thorns is friendship. | | The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn`t. | | The light of a hundred stars doesn't equal the light of the moon. | | He who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn`t been asleep. | | The best prophet of the future is the past. | | The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. | | The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive. | | Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall. | | No great scoundrel is ever uninteresting. | | Too much of a good thing is wonderful. | | Some men are discovered; others are found out. | | Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. | | When all is said and done, too many people keep saying and doing. | | Fame is proof that people are gullible. | | We have nothing to fear but fear itself. | | No really great man every thought himself so. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | SSSSSSS YY YY SSSSSSS OOOOOOO PPPPPP SSSSSSS .--------------| | SS YY YY SS OO OO PP PP SS | ADVERTISING | | SS YY YY SS OO OO PP PP SS | DOESN'T HAVE | | SSSSSS YYYYYY SSSSSS OO OO PPPPPPP SSSSSS | TO BE COSTLY!| | SS YY SS OO OO PP SS `--------------| | SS YY SS OO OO PP SS | | SSSSSSS YY SSSSSSS OOOOOOO PP SSSSSSS ::::::::::::::| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Put YOUR Business Card on more than 275 BBSes worldwide, at a rate you can | | afford! 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Joyce deliberately tried to keep the | | conversation light, staying clear of any conversation about the house. | | She was certain the old house was and is haunted. But she wasn't sure | | what any of them could do about it. Deep down, Joyce was thrilled to | | be included in this adventure of her daughter's and her friends. She | | had always wanted to go hunting for ghosts but never had the | | opportunity nor the ability to do so. Generally, Joyce knew, it would | | require traveling to another location to investigate a haunting. So | | the activity of investigation could end up being very expensive. | | | | "So," Norm said in his normal matter of fact manner, "what is it | | exactly we hope to accomplish going to this house?" | | | | Joyce realized he was speaking to her. She pulled her thoughts | | together, trying to bring herself back from what might have to what is. | | "I'm not sure what we hope to accomplish. I would like to experience | | the same things you guys did. If that doesn't happen, then I would at | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 41 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | least like to find something to convince me that the old place is | | haunted." | | | | "Haunted!," Norm considers himself an intellectual as well as a | | scientist and it became obvious when he responded to Joyce. "Don't you | | think hauntings are nothing more than group hallucinations? I mean, | | everyone expects to see something, so they do. That's what my folks | | say." | | | | "Get off the box Norm," Ray stated forcefully. "We all know what we | | saw the first time we were in the house. You saw it too. You know | | darn good and well it wasn't a hallucination or anything else, other | | than ghosts. You just don't want to face the fact that there are some | | things in this world that science and cold hard facts can't explain. | | So don't be a dip Norm." | | | | "I'm not being a dip," Norm protested. "I just don't know what to | | believe." | | | | "In fairness," Joyce interrupted the impending argument, "it is a wise | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 42 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | thing to question what you experience and see. Norm isn't sure what he | | should believe, so he is questioning what he has seen. There's nothing | | wrong with that. If you don't do this, then you could easily be fooled | | by someone playing a trick on you." | | | | "Yeah, I suppose," Ray said, having no intention of arguing with Joyce. | | | | The remaining portion of the walk was dedicated to mere chit chat. | | Nothing very important was discussed. It wasn't long and the group | | found themselves in front the old house. Norm was in the lead, and | | when he reached the front gate, he stopped. Joyce looked up towards | | the house, studied the front of it. Windows broken, the front door | | stood open, the lawn overgrown with weeds as well as grass. The | | thought raced through her head, 'what ever possessed these children to | | enter this house in the first place.' | | | | "Are we ready?," Chris asked. She was anxious to get into the house. | | She wanted to show her mother the old place, as well as the ghosts. | | She hoped above all that the ghosts would show themselves. She wanted | | that more than anything at that very moment. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 43 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "Ready?" Joyce asked, as she turned to look at each one of the young | | people's faces. She didn't look at them in a superfacial manner, she | | looked directly into their eyes. Questioning how this odd ball group | | of children managed to remain friends all these years. Each so | | different from the other and yet the same. | | | | "Now?" Billy asked, hestitating behind the others as they walked | | through the front gate of the yard. | | | | "It'll be okay," Joyce turned to him and said in a soothing manner. | | "It is okay." Joyce reached out and touched Billy's arm, knudding him | | forward towards the gate. | | | | Slowly, in silence they all walked towards the open front door. As | | they neared the porch, Joyce moved to the front of the group and took | | her place next to Christine. Christine smiled, Joyce reached out and | | touched her arm, "Ready hon?" Chris nodded her head and the two of | | them, side by side, entered the house. | | | | Joyce was in awe of the magnificent wood throughout the house. Chris | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 44 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | led her into the hallway and then into the front room, what would have | | been the sitting room. As the group entered the room there was a | | sudden thud heard from the upstairs. Everyone stopped in their tracks. | | | | "Did you hear that?" Jerry whispered. | | | | "Of course we heard it," Chris answered. "You'd think we couldn't hear | | or something." | | | | "No, it isn't that," Jerry whispered. "It is just that I wanted to | | make sure I wasn't hearing things that you didn't hear." | | | | "I think we should go upstairs and investigate the noise," Joyce told | | the young people. All seemed to agree, though not verbally, for they | | all followed her out of the room and to the foot of the stairs. Slowly | | she led them up the staircase to the second floor. Chris moved up next | | to her mother now and pointed out the first room they had seen | | activity. | | | | "This is the room Mom, where we saw the woman in white. It is also the | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 45 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | room we saw the man fighting with her." Chris told her mother as she | | moved to the door and slowly started to turn the knob. Funny, Chris | | thought, this door had been left open when the teens had run out of the | | house. Chris swung the door open wide and all of them peered inside. | | | | Nothing. | | | | "You are sure you saw her in here?" Joyce asked. | | | | "Yes," Chris insisted. "But the room didn't look like this, did it | | guys? It was clean. No dust and nothing looked like it was old. It | | all looked as though it had been just placed in the room for the first | | time and looked brand new." | | | | "Well it looks old to me hon," Joyce said to Chris. "Maybe you saw it | | the way the woman saw it. I don't know." | | | | "But I did see it Mom, really." Chris tried to convince her mother. | | | | "I know you did. I'm not saying you didn't dear, I'm just saying that | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 46 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | a spirit can create an illusion. She could have created the illusion | | of the room being just as it was when she was in it." Joyce tried to | | assure her daughter that she believed her. | | | | Joyce and Chris walked through the room then went back into the hall. | | "Mom we saw something in this next room down here," Chris said and | | pointed down the hall. | | | | "Good, that's the room we hear the thud come from, I think." Joyce said | | as she started down the hall. | | | | "Wait a sec," Billy said, "are you going to just go down there, just | | like that?" | | | | "Billy there's nothing to be afraid of," Joyce told him. "Just | | remember you are in control. As long as you remember this you will be | | fine." | | | | Joyce headed down to the next door, Chris and the others followed close | | behind her. As she reached for the knob she froze in place when a loud | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 47 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | bang resounded from the room down the hall. Everyone turned back | | towards the room. Joyce pushed past the kids and walked quickly down | | the hall to the room. She was totally amazed with what she saw. This | | room, that just moments ago, looked as though it hadn't been touched in | | 20 years, now appeared to fresh and new. In front of Joyce stood a | | young woman in white. She stood near the window, her back to the door. | | When Joyce entered the room the woman turned around, as if she was | | aware of another presence in the room. Joyce stood quietly watching | | and waiting. The woman watched Joyce, as though she could see her and | | would actually try to communicate with her. Joyce watched, but said | | nothing. Chris came in behind her mother and stood quietly. She | | watched as this woman in white took a position before them with her | | hands outstretched, as though pleading for help. | | | | "What can we do," Chris asked her. Joyce jumped slightly, surprised | | that Chris was even there. She had her attentions so focused on the | | woman in white that she didn't even hear Chris walk into the room. | | "How can we help you?" Chris asked again of the woman. | | | | "We can't help unless we can communicate in some way," Joyce said. And | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 48 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | before she had even completed her sentence, as though the woman could | | read her mind, the woman disappeared. Chris, a moment later, began | | talking in a voice no one recognized. The woman in white had taken | | over Chris and was using her as an instrument to communicate. Joyce | | was unnerved by this. She wanted to grab her daughter and run from the | | old house, but fear made her feet feel as though they were bolted to | | the floor. | | | | "You must tell," the voice said, coming out of Chris, "you must tell | | the truth." | | | | "What truth?" Joyce asked with trepidation. | | | | "You must tell them the truth," the voice said again, as though she | | hadn't heard Joyce's question. "Then I am free." | | | | "We will be happy to tell them the truth, but we have to know what | | truth." Joyce felt helpless in the situation now. "What truth?" | | | | Chris suddenly slumbed forward into her mother's arms. She was not | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 49 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | completely conscience. "Wait," Joyce screamed out, as she held Chris | | in her arms. "We can't help you without more information." But it was | | too late, the woman in white was gone. | | | | It took several moments for Chris to recover, but when she did she | | seemed none the worse for wear. But it was enough for Joyce. | | | | "Come on, we're leaving." Joyce said. | | | | "But Mom, we are just getting some place," Chris protested. | | | | "I said now," Joyce said with a commanding voice. She didn't give | | Chris a chance to protest, she just grabbed her arm and pulled her out | | of the room and into the hallway. The others followed behind them. | | They moved quickly but safely out of the house, Joyce closed the door | | behind her once she accounted for all the kids. | | | | "Mom, this is a mistake," Chris protested. "We can't help her if we | | don't know what it is she wants us to reveal." | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Hide And Seek By: J.L.Black Page 50 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "We aren't going back in there Christine. Not without someone who has | | more knowledge and experience than any of us." Joyce was determined not | | to go back into the house until they could get a professional psychic | | involved. "Let's go home, we'll talk about this when we get there. I | | want to write down everything each of you saw and felt when we were in | | that house." | | | | As they walked away something beckoned Joyce to turn back towards the | | house. There on the second floor, looking out the window, stood the | | lady in white, watching her guests leave. | | | | Conclusion next week.... | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Pun Fun! | | There is the story of Cherry who would do anything for Josh, the stud. | | She couldn't let things just lumber along without building a major thing | | out of their relationship. But one thing Cherry pined for was a fur and | | she didn't want Josh to buy it from Douglas either. It was because of this| | that Josh had to leave. 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In this | zzzzzzzzzzzzz | | | Issue of Eeeeks! | | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 54 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | A date with the Krausmeyer? On New Year's Eve? Can one imagine the horror?| | Not Debbie. The Office Manager of Team Eeeek had spent the last several | | years extracting herself from the society of "MEN" & she couldn't envision| | herself breaking her promise to an erstwhile street urchin! "I wonder if | | he bathes," she asked as she unconsciously applied an extra spray of | | imported French perfume. "Or if he owns a pair of dress shoes." | | | | Debbie viewed herself in her vanity mirror turning her painted face one | | way and then the other. She noticed that her expensive makeup had poured | | into a few new lines and that her eyelashes were spaced a bit farther | | apart than they had been. She lifted a loose lash from her eye and swore | | under her breath. Fluffing her long luscious golden locks she felt the | | harshness of over-coloring and blow-drying. Then she frowned at a series | | of split ends & brushed angrily at the fallen strands which hung mockingly| | to her black Bill Blas padded shoulders. | | | | I wonder where he's taking me, she thought. The hand drawn "tickets" the | | Krausmeyer had given her had not indicated a destination. They had simple | | read "Parade of Stars" in smudged pencil. Yet Debbie knew of no parades | | on New Year's Eve! The next morning sure, but not the night before. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 55 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | The Office Manager told herself once more why she was doing this: to meet | | her obligations. Nothing more. She would do as she promised and then make | | an end to it. | | | | A Krausmeyer was nothing she wish to make an alliance with. | | | | It was almost the hour. Debbie threw a beaded wrap over her shoulders and | | went into her living room to wait. | | * | | | | A 1993 powder blue stretch limousine met her eyes when Debbie stepped out | | of her house. The car was so long it blocked the driveways on either side | | of her property. | | | | "Whose car is this?" Debbie asked the driver. And when she was told that | | the limo, the driver and the driver's assistant belonged to Ms. Gabriel, | | Debbie knew she would have to mind her manners. In short the Chairwoman | | was watching and Debbie would have to let the Krausmeyer down easy. With | | any luck she would be home in time to watch the ball fall in Times | | Square. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 56 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | She stepped into the back door and dropped into the plush velvet | | upholstery. | | * | | For ten minutes she sat in the darkened limousine listening to Muzac | | CD's. She knew the Krausmeyer was in there with her because she could | | hear his fingers snapping to the dull rhythms. | | | | "Where are we going?" she asked. But of course he couldn't answer her. | | Instead he opened the power window in the roof and waved at hand at the | | sky. "Yes, I remember," Debbie said. "Parade of Stars." Hymie smiled, | | obviously happy that she remembered. For her part Debbie ground her | | slightly yellowing teeth together and prayed that the evening would be | | merciful. Meanwhile, the Chairwoman's chauffeur wound the limousine | | through the Santa Monica mountains; they were climbing the hills over | | looking the city & for the life of her, Debbie could not figure out | | where they were headed. "You don't suppose this jerk is taking me to | | the Observatory, do you?" she mumbled. But that was a good bet since | | nothing else was up there. Dull, dull, Debbie thought. But at least | | harmless. Oh, for days in Palm Springs, nights in the Bonaventure and | | men who knew how to squander their money. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 57 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Finally, there it was, the Krausmeyer's "Parade of Stars." Debbie found | | herself seated on a boulder overlooking Sunset Blvd. and the Los Angeles | | basin. Somewhere behind her and out of sight, the driver and his | | assistant had secluded the car. Above her spread a canopy of lights, the | | entire heavens opened into the next galaxy. And resist as she might, | | Debbie couldn't help but feel the tension of the last two months draining | | away into that enormity. She had read somewhere that stars have magnetic | | fields of their own & that their gravitational pull can be felt on earth. | | She imagined that these stars had gathered above for her benefit & they | | were pulling the stress out of her limbs. She actually felt it traveling | | out of her body, leaving her calm, almost limp and certainly at peace. | | | | For several long, pregnant moments, she waited for the little man to make | | his move. She was certain he would run his arm over her shoulders, trace | | a finger along the back of her hand, or gaze stupidly into her eyes. | | | | And then he would expect a kiss. Yes, even with his thin lizard-lips, he | | would want at least that much! And she could envision his disappointment | | when she refused. But until he made his pass, the beleaguered office | | manager could enjoy the serenity, the quiet, of these secluded hills. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 58 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | That was 1 good thing about Krausmeyer, he doesn't talk you to death. | | * | | Ten minutes went by in the peaceful presence of her little companion; | | then 15, then 20. All the while he did nothing but, apparently, enjoy his | | "Parade of Stars." He gazed not into Debbie's eyes, but into the night | | sky & seemed to take delight in each little twinkle as if he knew that | | dainty light personally. He smiled at one, then reluctantly turned to | | another, only to renew his enchanted smile all over again. From time to | | time Debbie peered at the little man out of the corner of her eye noting | | his contentment & ease. This wasn't the nervous creature that tiptoed | | through the office all week; this was a man comfortable in his element & | | the Office Manager could not help but observe the change. Here, in the | | Krausmeyer's world, the little man was happy, secure, almost confident | | in his knowledge of his environment. | | | | Debbie would have smiled at him if she didn't think it would provoke a | | come on. And out in these hills she hadn't a clue how he would act. The | | experienced woman knew she could take care of herself no matter what the | | weasel tried. But she was concerned that if he came on too strong, she | | might have to slap him on the nose harder than she would have liked to. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 59 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Up in the serenity of the mountains, Debbie could feel herself starting | | to like the little guy. "Hymie," she said. "Are you going to make a pass | | at me?" Debbie's words surprised the Krausmeyer; she watched as "office | | nervousness" descended upon him & his hands shook as his eyes widened in | | disbelief. Possessing the experience with men that she did, Debbie could | | tell that she misjudged him, making a pass was not something the little | | man had even imagined. | | | | "Relax, Hymie," Debbie said. "I was just wondering." She smiled down at | | him and instantly knew more about him than she had before. He probably | | needed a woman in his life & hadn't the self-esteem to go out & get one. | | Apparently he meant it when he asked her up into the mountains to see his | | Parade of Stars. "What about dinner?" Debbie asked to change the subject. | | | | At the mention of food, the little man's face brightened. He held up a | | finger as if to say, 'Wait a minute!' and rose from his seat. After he | | had helped her up, the two teammates climbed to the road and the | | limousine. But instead of getting into the car, Hymie led them to the | | rear end where the driver and his assistant had set up a small dining | | table and two chairs. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 60 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Under the stars the two sat to be served by the drivers while the aromas | | emanating from the trunk of the limousine set their taste buds throbbing. | | The entire trunk was filled with food and Debbie awaited the enjoyment of | | it with delight. | | | | It was during the decanting of the Cabernet Sauvignon that they heard the | | noise. Out in the scrub brush Debbie heard the shuffling of muffled foot | | steps. Soon she saw a face, a dirty face, staring at them. Then a second | | face joined the first; then a third & a fourth. Debbie thought they must | | have followed the scent of food & realized that there could be others | | living in the hills. The faces emerged boldly from the brush & made their | | way to the couple seated at the table. | | | | "Evenin', folks," said the first dirty face. "How 'bout sharin' a bite or | | two?" | | | | The driver and his assistant positioned themselves between the diners and | | the filthy men, but too many of the homeless arrived for them to hold | | back. As the crowd spilled around the table, tempers rose and Debbie was | | sure they would soon steal the food and ransack the car. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 61 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | They might have, too. Already they were struggling with the drivers & | | grabbing handfuls of food from the trunk. But as the dirty men approached | | the table caught sight of the Krausmeyer, they fell back. Some of them | | mumbled & Debbie heard 'Hymie' in the mist of the controlled arguing. | | Slowly the men placed the food back on the plates and turned to leave. | | That was when the understanding dawned on Debbie. | | | | "Hymie, do you know these men?" she asked. The little man stared at the | | ground and remained motionless. By that lack of denial, Debbie received | | the whole picture. | | | | Hymie must have been one of them! she thought. They were going to take | | the food but when they recognized Hymie they stopped. But why? | | | | Debbie looked into the Krausmeyer's lowered eyes and found shame, | | embarrassment. And she knew it was not from his being where he was, but | | from his not helping his former companions. | | | | And the men in turn were embarrassed for trying to steal from one of | | their own who had made it out of the hills - from living like an animal. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 62 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | She saw it all - in that 1 second of insight, she understood the feeling | | swarming around them under those clear, bright stars. | | | | She looked from the men to her companion and back again, wondering what | | they would do. But the hungry men were leaving; they were not thieves, | | just people who were cold and dejected. | | | | As she watched the men walk toward the darkness, she heard Hymie's feet | | scrape the ground as he jumped up from his chair. Then he ran after the | | men and handed one of them his plate of food. With his free hand he waved | | the men back, toward the trunk of food; he was inviting them to share | | what he had. | | | | It wasn't long & the area behind the limousine was filled with dark men | | enjoying the expensive catering provide by one of their own. | | | | Debbie knew she had learned more about her companion; she knew she had | | seen a side of him that his fellow employees had yet to see. | | A side that endeared him to her. | | A side that appealed to the warm glow she was feeling inside. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Team Eeeek: Office Manager, Part 6 & Final Page 63 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | And she also knew that from that moment on, she and the Krausmeyer would | | be better friends. | | | | Much better friends. | | | | After she had acclimated herself to the new situation, Debbie strolled | | over to the opened trunk and made up a plate of food. When a new arrival | | presented himself before her, she handed him the plate, smiled and asked, | | "Would you like gravy?" | | | | The smile that accompanied the nod on the stranger's face told Debbie | | something else. It told her that the new year held a promise - a promise | | of friendship and good fortune and possibility that she had not felt in a | | long time. | | | | "Happy New Year," she said to the filthy stranger who was gobbling the | | food in front of her. And she knew she meant it. | | She just knew she did. | | | | The End | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |.==========================================================================.| || INTRODUCTION TO: Another Great || || Electronic Book || || GGGGG UU UU II TTTTTT AAAA RRRR From: EPC (c) || || GG UU UU II TT AA AA RR RR (1) || || GG GGG UU UU II TT AAAAAA RRRRR || || GG GG UU UU II TT AA AA RR RR .--------------------. || || GGGG UUUU II TT AA AA RR RR | By Carl Kirkendoll | || || `--------------------' || ||===========================================.-----------.==================|| || .-------. .-'///////////`. || || .-'///////`----'//////////////`-. || || o o o________________'/////////////////// .===. /////`. || || [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]// | | /////| || || o o o----------------.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ `===' /////.' || || `-.///////.----.//////////////.-' || || `-------' `-.///////////.' || || `-----------' || || For More information, see The E.E.L. Pages in this Issue of Eeeek BITS! || || This book is an easy "How To" for the wanna-be guitar player! Carl || || Kirkendoll has made it possible for ANYONE to learn quickly & easily! || |`=========================================================================='| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | MM MM OOOOOO NN NN SSSSSSS OOOOOO OOOOOO NN NN | | MMM MMM OO OO NNNN NN SS OO OO OO OO NNNN NN | | MM MM MM OO OO NN NN NN SSSSSS OO OO OO OO NN NN NN | | MM MM OO OO NN NNNN SS OO OO OO OO NN NNNN | | MM MM OOOOOO NN NN SSSSSSS OOOOOO OOOOOO NN NN | | | | >> Asian BBS News >> Asian BBS News >> Asian BBS News >> Asian BBS News >> | | (c) Copyright 1992 Masaru Ikeda, Osaka Japan. All rights Reserved. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Available on Beyond Eternity: (310)-371-3734 12-9600 370-9464 3-2400 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | .----------------------------. EASY & INEXPENSIVE ADS! | | | ELECTRONIC BUSINESS CARDS! |-. ------------------------------ | | | ========================== | |-. Whether you are a BBS, or a | | | | | |-. Small Business, or even if | | | The Editor #5 | | | |-. you merely have a product or | | | B.E.BBS (310)-371-3734 | | | | | service you wish to offer... | | `----------------------------' | | | | E-Biz Cards are an inexpensive | | `----------------------------' | | | way to get your name out to a | | `----------------------------' | | COUNTLESS number of people! | | `----------------------------' | Only $25.00 a month or $250 a | | `----------------------------' year! Contact us today! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | L I TTT TTT L EEE K K N N OO W W N N !!!! | | L I T T L E K K NN N O O W W NN N !!!! | | L I T T L EE === KK N N N O O W W N N N !!!! | | L I T T L E K K N NN O O W W W N NN !!!! | | LLL I T T LLL EEE K K N N OO WW WW N N !!!! | | !!!! | | !!!! | | FFFFF AAAA CCCC TTTTTT SSSS !!!! | | FF AA AA CC TT SS !!!! | | FFFF AAAAAA CC TT SSSS !!!! | | FF AA AA CC TT SS !!!! | | FF AA AA CCCC TT SSSS !!!! | | !!!! | | !!!! | | GGGGG AAAA LL OOOO RRRRR EEEEE !!!! | | GG AA AA LL OO OO RR RR EE !!!! | | GG GGG AAAAAA LL OO OO RRRRR EEEE | | GG GG AA AA LL OO OO RR RR EE :::: | | GGGGG AA AA LLLLL OOOO RR RR EEEEE :::: | | | | HUNDREDS Of Our Little Known Facts From Eeeek BITS! Online Magazine (tm) | | See The E.E.L. is this week's issue of Eeeek BITS! for more information! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | DOS made Easy! Page 67 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | For SYNTAX and SPECIFICS, type "<command name> /?" (do NOT use <> brackets| | and command name = DOS command! ie: RESTORE /? for help w/RESTORE!) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | APPEND Open files in specified directories as if in current directory. | | ASSIGN Redirects requests for operations on a drive to a different drive.| | ATTRIB Displays or changes file attributes. | | BACKUP Backs up one or more files from one disk to another. | | BREAK Sets or clears extended CTRL+C checking. | | CALL Calls one batch program from another. | | CD Displays the name of or changes the current directory. | | CHCP Displays or sets the active code page number. | | CHDIR Displays the name of or changes the current directory. | | CHKDSK Checks a disk and displays a status report. | | CLS Clears the screen. | | COMMAND Starts a new instance of the MS-DOS command interpreter. | | COMP Compares the contents of two files or sets of files. | | COPY Copies one or more files to another location. | | CTTY Changes the terminal device used to control your system. | | DATE Displays or sets the date. | | DEBUG Runs Debug, a program testing and editing tool. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | DOS made Easy! Page 68 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DEL Deletes one or more files. | | DIR Displays a list of files and subdirectories in a directory. | | DISKCOMP Compares the contents of two floppy disks. | | DISKCOPY Copies the contents of one floppy disk to another. | | DOSKEY Edits command lines, recalls MS-DOS commands, and creates macros. | | DOSSHELL Starts MS-DOS Shell. | | ECHO Displays messages, or turns command echoing on or off. | | EDIT Starts MS-DOS Editor, which creates and changes ASCII files. | | EDLIN Starts Edlin, a line-oriented text editor. | | EMM386 Turns on or off EMM386 expanded memory support. | | ERASE Deletes one or more files. | | EXE2BIN Converts .EXE (executable) files to binary format. | | EXIT Quits the COMMAND.COM program (command interpreter). | | EXPAND Expands one or more compressed files. | | FASTOPEN Decreases amount of time to open frequently used files & DIRs. | | FC Compares 2 files/sets of files, & displays differences between. | | FDISK Configures a hard disk for use with MS-DOS. | | FIND Searches for a text string in a file or files. | | FOR Runs a specified command for each file in a set of files. | | FORMAT Formats a disk for use with MS-DOS. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | DOS made Easy! Page 69 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | GOTO Directs DOS to a labelled line in a batch program. | | GRAFTABL Enables DOS to display an extended character set in graphics mode.| | GRAPHICS Loads a program that can print graphics. | | HELP Provides Help information for MS-DOS commands. | | IF Performs conditional processing in batch programs. | | JOIN Joins a disk drive to a directory on another drive. | | KEYB Configures a keyboard for a specific language. | | LABEL Creates, changes, or deletes the volume label of a disk. | | LH Loads a program into the upper memory area. | | LOADFIX Loads a program above the first 64K of memory, & runs the program.| | LOADHIGH Loads a program into the upper memory area. | | MD Creates a directory. | | MEM Displays the amount of used and free memory in your system. | | MIRROR Records information about one or more disks. | | MKDIR Creates a directory. | | MODE Configures a system device. | | MORE Displays output one screen at a time. | | NLSFUNC Loads country-specific information. | | PATH Displays or sets a search path for executable files. | | PAUSE Suspends processing of a batch file and displays a message. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | DOS made Easy! Page 70 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | PRINT Prints a text file while you are using other MS-DOS commands. | | PROMPT Changes the MS-DOS command prompt. | | QBASIC Starts the MS-DOS QBasic programming environment. | | RD Removes a directory. | | RECOVER Recovers readable information from a bad or defective disk. | | REM Records comments (remarks) in batch files or CONFIG.SYS. | | REN Renames a file or files. | | RENAME Renames a file or files. | | REPLACE Replaces files. | | RESTORE Restores files that were backed up by using the BACKUP command. | | RMDIR Removes a directory. | | SET Displays, sets, or removes MS-DOS environment variables. | | SETVER Sets the version number that MS-DOS reports to a program. | | SHARE Installs file-sharing and locking capabilities on your hard disk. | | SHIFT Shifts the position of replaceable parameters in batch files. | | SORT Sorts input. | | SUBST Associates a path with a drive letter. | | SYS Copies DOS system files & command interpreter to disk you specify.| | TIME Displays or sets the system time. | | TREE Graphically displays the directory structure of a drive or path. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | DOS made Easy! Page 71 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | TYPE Displays the contents of a text file. | | UNDELETE Recovers files which have been deleted. | | UNFORMAT Restores disk erased by FORMAT command or restructured by RECOVER.| | VER Displays the MS-DOS version. | | VERIFY Tells DOS whether to verify your files are written correctly. | | VOL Displays a disk volume label and serial number. | | XCOPY Copies files (except hidden and system files) and directory trees.| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Many people think DOS is difficult, but as long as you know what commands | | do what, you will find DOS to be convenient, easy, and beneficial to use! | | the "/?" will get you the same results as typing in HELP <command name>. | | ie: HELP DEBUG will give you the same as DEBUG /? will. | | | | These are all the basic commands for DOS 5.0. Many are used in Batch | | files (which we will cover at a later date!) but you should familiarize | | yourself enough with the DOS language to be able to make your computer do | | what YOU want it to! Practice using the HELP function, and play with | | some of the less volatile commands (for instance we DON'T recommend that | | you play with the FORMAT command unless you are aware of exactly what you | | you are doing! Enjoy & happy Operating! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Strrrrrrrange BITS! Page 72 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | The lady stood doing her job when suddenly something touched her. Quickly | | she turned around but no one was there. She went back to her cooking. | | Within moments someone touched her again, again she turned, again no one | | was there. Finally the third time someone touched her and she turned | | quickly, spinning on her heels. There before stood the shadowy figure of | | a woman. A moment later the figure disappeared into thin air. But that | | was not the end of her, not by a long shot. A minute or so after being | | seen the ghostly lady began throwing pottery around, crashing it on the | | kitchen floor. | | This was not the first time the ghostly figure had been reported nor was | | it the first time she threw things. Some months earlier a young man rent- | | ed the apartment above the restaurant and he reported having strange dreams| | of a woman. A woman he didn't know. He described the woman as someone who| | had her hair piled up on her head, wearing an old-fashioned dress. It was | | not long after this that he saw this very woman in the restaurant. He was | | quite shaken by her appearance; for he could see right through her. | | Frequently the lady would be seen in the restaurant but with no head. Only| | from her shoulders down would appear, frightening a great many people. | | Other things would happen as well, like the bells on the front door would | | begin jingling frantically, as though someone was deliberately striking | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Strrrrrrrange BITS! Page 73 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | the bells repeatedly. But when the front door was checked, no one was | | there and the bells were not moving. | | No one reported feeling very frightened by the activities of the lady. | | Instead most had the feeling of annoyance. | | The history of the house, now restaurant, is that it was built in the 1890s| | but the exact year is uncertain. Sometime in the 1960s there was a fire | | at the house which could never be explained. People living next door to | | the house purchased it and restored it. Being experts in architectural | | restoration helped a great deal. Once the house was completely renovated | | they leased it out to two sisters; who turned the downstairs portion into | | a restaurant. The restaurant is called Victorian Facades. | | The ghost is believed to be that of a woman named Lydia who once lived up- | | stairs in the house. She never married and lived there through a great | | number of personal tragedies, including the death of her only sister. | | A great many people have seen the ghostly lady. Even more have seen things| | fly through the air by unseen hands. There have been some investigations | | but nothing can be found to prove the psychic impressions. Every psychic | | who has entered the place has the feeling that someone was murdered. No | | evidence can be found to this. The restaurant is located at: 1244 South- | | east Belmont Street, Portland, Oregon. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | .======================================================. | | ========| The W-Eeeek-ly News (tm) Review |======== | | `. | (c) 1992 Eeeek Publishing Co. All Rights Reserved! | .' | | .' `======================================================' `. | | ================ * Week Of:12-21-92 through 12-28-92 * ================ | | | | .------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | Published in the United States of America, All rights reserved. | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------- | | | | This publication is protected under Copyright Laws of the United | | | | States. No part of this E-magazine may be reproduced in any form | | | | or by any means without the written permission of the publisher! | | | `------------------------------------------------------------------' | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | TTTTTTTT WW WW NN NN | | .--TT----------WW-----WW----------------------NNNN--NN----------. | | | TT H E WW W WW E E E E K ! L Y NN NN NN E W S ! | | | `--TT----------WW-WWW-WW----------------------NN--NNNN----------' | | TT WW WW NN NN | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | To Submit Material, Write the Editor, or any correspondence, WRITE TO: | | Eeeek Publishing (TWN) P.O.Box 331, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ADL Questions State Department's Change in Policy Page 75 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | NEW YORK, Dec. 24 /U.S. Newswire/ -- The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) | | questioned the State Department's apparent change in policy regarding | | government officials' participation in non-governmental meetings in East | | Jerusalem. The league learned that Ambassador Morris B. Abram, the | | United States Permanent Representative to the United Nations and other | | International Organizations in Geneva, was denied permission by the State | | Department to attend a private meeting of international jurists at the | | Hyatt Hotel in Jerusalem. The hotel is on the border between east and | | west Jerusalem. | | | | "For some time we have been concerned about U.S. policy which prohibits | | American officials from attending Israeli government functions in East | | Jerusalem," Abraham H. Foxman, ADL national director, said in a letter to | | Secretary of State Lawrence Eagleburger. "Nevertheless, it was our | | understanding that this policy was restricted to government-sponsored | | events. The current incident appears to take this policy to a new level | | in that it forbids American officials from attending events in East | | Jerusalem which are sponsored by private international organizations. We | | would appreciate clarification of U.S. policy in this regard," Foxman | | added. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Cooperative Agreement to Develop Model State Anti-Stalking Law Page 76 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DC, 12-23/US Newswire: The Dept of Justice announced a $243,368 agreement | | with the Nat.Criminal Justice Assn, of DC, which will operate a consortium| | with the Nat.Inst.of Justice to develop a model state anti-stalking code. | | NIJ, the Department's criminal justice research agency in the Office of | | Justice Programs, said the non-profit organization will administer the | | project with a nationally representative group of state legislatures & | | experts in criminal justice operations, constitutional issues & victim | | rights matters. Noted NIJ Director Charles B. DeWitt, "The vast majority | | of stalkers prey on ordinary citizens. The model legislation that is to | | be drafted & published will address this situation & help states analyze | | their own needs in this area." "Stalking is a troublesome problem for | | police officials because criminal statutes & civil remedies frequently | | are inadequate," DeWitt said. "Existing laws against trespassing & | | harassing are helpful but frequently insufficient to completely protect | | potential victims until it is too late." "Domestic violence against women | | is a common form of stalking, but state laws often address it only after | | the crime has escalated into a serious assault or homicide," he pointed | | out. Stalking is usually defined as willfully, maliciously & repeatedly | | following & harassing another person. CA passed the first anti-stalking | | law in of up to 1 yr jail, a $1,000 fine, both or a state prison sentence.| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Sentences Announced in Weaver Electric PCB Disposal Case Page 77 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DENVER, Dec. 22 /U.S. Newswire/ -- United States Attorney Michael J. | | Norton jointly with Ronald F. Ederer, United States Attorney for the | | Western District of Texas; Vicki A. O'Meara, acting assistant attorney | | general for the Environment & Natural Resources Division of the United | | States Department of Justice; James L. Prange, special agent in charge, | | Office of Criminal Investigations, US Environmental Protection Agency | | & Joseph D. Martinolich Jr., special agent in charge, FBI announced that | | US District Court Judge Weinshienk sentenced Weaver Electric Co. Inc. to | | pay $500,000 in fines & environmental expenditures at its facilities & | | Clayton Regier & Bud Rupe to terms of imprisonment in connection with | | their conviction for federal environmental & related criminal charges | | filed in September 1992 in Denver, Colorado, & El Paso. The charges | | resulted from a scheme to illegally dispose of PCBs & capacitors | | containing PCBs owned by Weaver Electric & stored at its headquartered | | in Denver. Weaver Electric was sentenced to a fine of $200,000 & is being | | required, as a term of probation, to spend an additional $300,000 on EA | | -approved environmental compliance activities at its two Denver sites for | | its conviction of seven charges, including violations for the illegal | | disposal, storage, exportation & labeling of drums & capacitors | | containing PCBs. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Emancipation Proclmation Display Ceremony Page 78 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | EVENT: Ceremony for the opening of a special display of the | | Emancipation Proclamation | | WHEN: Thursday, Dec. 31, at 10 a.m. | | WHERE: National Archives Rotunda, Constitution Ave. | | between 7th and 9th Sts., NW. Public enter through | | Constitution Ave. entrance. | | | | DETAILS: The ribbon-cutting ceremony marks the opening of a special | | display of the Emancipation Proclamation. This is the first time since | | 1979 that the document has been displayed at the National Archives and | | the first time ever that all five pages have been exhibited. This | | occasion commemorates the 130th anniversary of the signing of the | | document by Abraham Lincoln on Jan. 1, 1863. This event is free and open | | to the public, space permitting. | | | | NOTE: No artificial lighting will be permitted in the Exhibition Hall or | | Rotunda. No flash permitted. For press information, call the Public | | Affairs Staff at 202-501-5525. The public may call the events line, | | 202-501-5000, for more information. | | | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | INTERNATIONAL NEWS Page 79 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | BONN - Germany said it regretted the re-election of Serbian President | | Slobodan Milosevic, calling him one of the chief parties responsible for | | war in former Yugoslavia. | | | | BELGRADE - Milan Panic, conceding defeat in Serbia's presidential | | elections, threatened to resign as prime minister of Yugoslavia but said | | he would remain in politics. | | | | GENEVA - Russian Foreign Minister Andrei Kozyrev and United Nations | | Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali both urged caution on foreign | | military intervention in Bosnia. | | | | MOGADISHU - U.S. Marines shot at least three Somalis in a truck when one | | of the passengers fired on them, and Somali guards at a U.N. compound | | also clashed with gunmen, a U.S. military spokesman said. | | | | WASHINGTON - The White House said President George Bush was prepared to | | release secret notes he made on the Iran-Contra scandal in response to | | charges he was involved in a cover-up of the arms-for-hostages deal. | | | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | INTERNATIONAL NEWS Page 80 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MARJ AZ-ZOHOUR, Lebanon - Lebanon rebuffed appeals to take in sick | | Palestinian deportees trapped in no man's land in south Lebanon. In TEL | | AVIV, hundreds of Israelis marched in pouring rain to protest against the | | expulsion of the 415 Palestinians. | | | | MOSCOW - President Boris Yeltsin ordered the creation of a new body to | | supervise state radio and television coverage of political developments | | in Russia. | | | | MOSCOW - Three Russian soldiers kidnapped by Islamic rebels in the | | Central Asian republic of Tajikistan were found dead on Saturday, Russian | | television said. | | | | NICOSIA - Iran told its Gulf Arab neighbours it was ready to defend | | militarily three disputed islands, reminding them of its eight-year war | | with Iraq. | | | | LONDON - With an IRA Christmas truce ending on Saturday, Irish church | | leaders urged a permanent end to fighting in Northern Ireland and Britain | | feared a renewed bombing campaign. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | NATIONAL NEWS Page 81 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | RESOLUTIONS: 48% of Americans intend to make a New Year's resolution this | | year, a new Gallup poll says. 22% want to improve personal finances, 10% | | want to Stop smoking, 7% to lose weight, & 1% exercise more. 52% admitted | | not keeping past resolutions. | | | | RECRUITS TO STRIP: 10 women recruits at the Navy's Redding, CA office | | were victims of sexual misconduct over a 1 year period, including being | | told to strip so recruiters could take their measurements, military | | investigators said. | | | | SECONDHAND SMOKE: A report from the US Environmental Protection Agency | | next month is expected to link secondhand tobacco smoke to lung cancer, | | easing the way for further restrictions on public smoking. | | | | IMPLANT CASE: A jury awarded $25 million in damages to a Pamela Jean | | Johnson of Houston. Johnson said silicone-gel breast implants made by a | | subsidiary of Bristol-Myers Squibb Co. caused an autoimmune disease after | | rupturing inside her. Officials said it was the biggest damage award to | | date against a manufacturer of silicone implants. Johnson had sought $64 | | million in damages. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .-----------------------------------------------------------------------─----. | NATIONAL NEWS Page 82 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | TRW PAYS: TRW agreed to pay to $1,000 to each homeowner it wrongly called | | a tax deadbeat. TRW, a major credit-reporting firm, botched the credit | | records of 1,200 Vermont residents. TRW, without admitting wrongdoing, | | also agreed to pay the state $125,000. | | | | MORE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION: More than 11 million Americans suffer | | from depression, and studies hint it may be on the rise. The National | | Institute of Mental Health thinks 50% or more people with depression go | | undiagnosed. To get help, write National Depressive & Manic-Depressive | | Association, 730 N. Franklin St., Suite 501, Chicago, Ill., 60610. | | | | SCHOOLS TO INTEGRATE: Louisiana can no longer operate separate all black | | state colleges & must merge with white institutions, a judge ruled. | | | | SHOCKING NEWS: Implanted devices that jolt the heart into regular rhythm | | can be dangerous. A new study shows patients who get the device may have | | nightmares in which they imagine the device has gone off. The New England | | Journal of Medicine reports the phenomenon may lead to psychological | | problems. Some people kept alive by the devices say the shock feels like | | a mule kicking them in the chest. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ENTERTAINMENT NEWS Page 83 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "A League Of Their Own," starring Geena Davis, Tom Hanks and Madonna, | | will be released on video cassette by Columbia TriStar Home Video on | | February 17th for the selling price of $94.95 per cassette. | | | | Tatum O'Neal will star in NBC's "Woman On Trial: The Lawrencia Bembenek | | Story," based on the story of ex-cop & former model "Lawrence" Bembenek, | | who served 10+ years in prison for the 1981 murder of her husband's ex-wife| | Christine J. Schultz - a crime she maintains she did not commit. | | | | Fox West Pictures, a division of Fox Broadcasting Company, will start | | production on "12:01," a made-for-TV psychological thriller. "12:01" | | will center on a man who keeps living a single day of his life repeatedly | | and endlessly when a scientific experiment turns out for the worst. | | | | Carol Burnett, Harvey Korman, Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence and Lyle | | Waggoner will reunite for "The Carol Burnett Show: A Reunion," to be | | broadcast Sunday, 1-10-93 at 9:00 pm on CBS. | | | | Michael Jackson will receive the Entertainer of the Year Award at the | | 25th annual Image Awards on January 16th. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |xxxxxxxxxxx ========= xxxxxxxxxxx | | xxxxxxxxx .' _\___`. PLEASE: Enjoy the xxxxxxxxx | | ||||||||| .' `. \~~~/ `. New Year's Eve Party, ||||||||| | | ||||||||| | `. `|' | but use Designated ||||||||| | | ||||||||| | `._|__ | Drivers! Drinking or ||||||||| | | ||||||||| | /~'\__`. | Drugs & Driving is ||||||||| | | ||||||||| `.~@~~~@' `. .' STUPID! Everyone is ||||||||| | | ||||||||| '=========' sure it won't happen ||||||||| | | ||||||||| to "them"! Don't ||||||||| | | ||||||||| become one of our ||||||||| | | ||||||||| H H AA PPP PPP Y Y statistics - there ||||||||| | | ||||||||| HHHH A A P P P P YYY are easier ways to ||||||||| | | ||||||||| H H AAAA PPP PPP Y get your name in EB! ||||||||| | | ||||||||| H H A A P P Y ||||||||| | | ||||||||| Besides - We want ya ||||||||| | | ||||||||| .11 9999 9999 3333 around to hassle in ||||||||| | | ||||||||| 1 1 9 9 9 9 3 3 '93! ||||||||| | | ||||||||| 1 9999 9999 33 ||||||||| | | ||||||||| 1 9 9 3 And even if YOU are ||||||||| | | ||||||||| 1 9 9 3 3 not enebriated... ||||||||| | | xxxxxxxxx 11111 9 9 3333 WATCH OUT FOR THOSE xxxxxxxxx | |xxxxxxxxxxx WHO ARE! xxxxxxxxxxx | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | (c)1992 K.R.Taghadossi/J.L.Black-ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! 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